-sext, late 2017-

sometimes when i mix alcohol w ritalin i fall into oneiric sub cognitive rabbit holes and most of the time you feature. / It’s always the same scene: I come to you w my bad vibes, my sad passions and you listen to my shit until we get bored and break through my fixations on the endless negativity of the present and in a sudden shift / surprising nobody I curl you under my knees & it’s ecstatic. / i’ve had dreams about you when given evidence either i’ve come or dreamt i was on the edge of cumming it’s not / tho / what i truly want from u cmon / i’ve come enough times in my adult life to gain a sense of perspective. / I want to fuck you sober n i want to fuck u fucked but so much harder than that i just want to hold onto this shatterglass dream as long as we both can stand it / and mind btw as i’m writing this the people at the bar / normal people r having a chat about being sober and how much they low key fucking hate it, trust. / I want to be back to spaces where it is dark and you hug me from behind and singe yourself on my outlines and everyone who can tell has told you to back off but for reasons, for now, idk y but u just won’t do it.

#goodchoices

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